


The Wonderful Concept of "Home"

by masquerace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha OT4 - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Depression, Dirk's Issues, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masquerace/pseuds/masquerace
Summary: Sometimes, life gets too suffocating and you have to escape. You've been running your whole life, and you've never had anyone to return to. Until you met them.





	

Sometimes you still had to escape from the overwhelming madness surrounding the apartment. They seemed to understand why, even though you never explained your feelings to them. After spending most of your life neglected and tossed around from foster family to foster family, having three people to come home to and always want you there floors you. The amount of affection was overwhelming sometimes. You would disappear for a couple days every now and then with only quick reassuring text to each of them, and it took you several angrily worried lectures to even do that much. When you returned, they always welcomed you back with open arms. You would be smothered under hugs and kisses and the occasional baked goods, and one of them would always ask if you wanted to talk about what was plaguing your thoughts. You never did.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t love each of them more than anything.

When you eventually stumbled home— _home_ , the word tasted strange in your mouth, but you’d be damned if it didn’t fit—Roxy was the only one home. She was the first to contact you, the first to initiate friendship, the first to approach you with the concept for your unconventional relationship, so it only seemed appropriate that she was the one waiting for you. She didn’t say anything, but the muted worry in her eyes spoke the words for her. You took off your shades.

“Hey.”

“You were gone longer than usual this time.” 

“Yeah,” you paused to clear your throat, “Sorry.”

She shook her head and smiled in the way that made you want to try harder to overcome your faults, “You know you can always talk to me, right? You can talk to all of us.”

“I don’t want to lump this on you guys. You’re so damn happy all the time, and, you know, sometimes I just can’t be. A lot of the time." 

Her arms coiled around your neck before you realized she moved. You force yourself to relax under the touch, and you could feel the tension slip off your shoulders. You’re still unused to physical contact. She whispered soft assurances in your ear in a way that made you remember that she loves you. After a moment that felt like years she leaned back on the heel of her pink chucks and linked her fingers behind your neck for balance. Her lips were lacking the usual black lipstick, but you hardly noticed since they were twisted into a frown.

“Let us help, okay? I know you think that you’d be some big problem if you talked about your troubles with us, but we want you to be happy more than we want ourselves happy. And I know I speak for Janey and Jake, too, so don’t contradict me, mister.”

You laughed. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed, and for some reason that only drove you to laugh harder. Soon you and Roxy were embracing wildly in the entryway and cackling loud enough for a neighbor to shout at you to quiet down. She shrieked as you squeezed her waist and used your height to lift her off the ground and swing her in circles. Your head spun from the momentum and how much unexpected fun you were having. She cried for you to put her down, so you do. You carefully set her feet back on the hardwood before letting go, pretending like she’s a china doll. The thought of Roxy being anything but the strong, sturdy rock you know she is makes you smirk, but you suddenly remembered all the times when she was as fragile as your mental state could be and let your lips droop back to a resting frown. She kissed your jaw.

Jake came home toting his schoolbag soon after, and he dropped it tactlessly upon seeing you back. He exclaimed your name and it made your heart leap into your throat over how stupidly in love with him you are. Jake initiated his own hug and smooches your cheek overzealously. 

Expectedly, he asked why you left.

You averted your eyes and could practically feel his eager grin melt into that frown that could make your heart shatter. You wanted to be able to tell them everything you were feeling and how it made your skin burn with anger and sorrow, but you simply couldn’t find the right phrases to express that correctly. You never were very eloquent. Loneliness could do that to a person.

“Sometimes I need to forget I’m me,” you finally said.

They were both hanging off of you by then, yet a new cloud of distress hung in the air. 

“Oh for frig flipping sake, Dirk. You’re the very best part of you. Even that nasty bit of darkness clouding up that pretty golden vision of yours.”

You would normally find those words overly sappy and riddled with false honesty, but Jake had this way of making you feel as though every action was him being entirely genuine. It made you smile. Turning your head back towards him, you could see the flecks of dust dotting his glasses and the tips of his dark hair bleached brown from excessive time in the sun. He claimed he didn’t have any freckles, but at that distance you could see the slight discolorations speckling across his cheeks.

Roxy poked into your line of vision, and you can see the pink dye in her hair running back into the natural strawberry blonde near her scalp. She was only wearing mascara—perhaps foundation too, but you couldn’t really tell—which was strange. You were too used to seeing the splashes of color across her cheeks and eyelids. Her rough finger pads fidgeted against your neck, making you shiver. Years of working with her hands have left them permanently callused.

“You think so?” Your voice was rough from unease and general disuse.

“I know so, Dirk.”

The confirmation from Jake set your nerves back far enough to be manageable again, and you slowly untangled yourself from the pair clambering up your frame. Jake released you easily and reclaimed his bag, along with the several papers that flew out after the bag hit the ground. Roxy was difficult, and you end up having to swing her around once more before she resigned and let go. Jake pilfered the contents of your duffle for laundry as he vacated, encouraging you to take a shower to “wash all the hum drums and melancholies down the drain.” Roxy just made you promise to keep it under an hour.

You passed through your room on the way to the shower, and you remind yourself that, despite the crippling depression and abandonment issues, you are extremely lucky. You tried your best not to think too much while showering, although it’s near impossible to shut your mind down completely.

It was several hours into the evening before Jane came home, and she wet right back to talking to you like you hadn’t been MIA for a few weeks. She beckoned you over to the kitchen, and you obeyed without question. Jane could be quite the adversary when opposed. You slid into a chair at the table and watched her bustle around while telling you all about the goings-on at Crocker Corp. while you were gone. By the end of her story, you had a couple raspberry tarts on a plate in front of you and a bright red lipstick mark on your cheek. You didn’t bother to wipe it off because you knew when Jake and Roxy saw it, they would beg for a kiss too, and that would make Jane’s night.

You couldn’t help but smile when your prediction came true.

Roxy grinned when she saw your smile, “Aw, whatcha thinking about, Dirky?”

“I guess… how glad I am to finally be home.”

They forced you to join the three of them on the too-small couch for a movie that night. Despite feeling squashed with the four of you all tangled together, you most definitely felt loved.

 


End file.
